DEAR RAVI CHIT,

... I've been ignoring you.

2005-10-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

I've not really been ignoring you. Because now that you have daddy to keep you company, you won't be all that lonely anymore. In fact, now I'm the one who's lonely :( Daddy and I used to keep talking about you. I hope both of you talk about me too. Take care of each other, and I'll take care of whoever's down here.

... I realised you're not alone anymore.

2005-10-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

You have daddy with you. You're own elder brother. Maybe you needed him more than we did, and so he came to be with you. Daddy really did love you a lot, and he cried numerous times thinking about you. Now he's with you and he need to cry no more. You better make sure he's laughing all the time, okay? I love you both.

... because one year ago to this day I was finally convinced that God doesn't exist.

2005-09-18T02:21:00.000-07:00

I will always love you, Ravi Chit. Always. Nothing and nobody can change that.

... because I honestly have no clue what to say this week.

2005-09-13T22:04:00.000-07:00

Cross my heart and hope to die.

... I'm suddenly finding it harder to put in words what I'm feeling right now.

2005-09-11T20:48:00.000-07:00

You probably don't want a recap of it all again. So I'd rather not say anything.

... I'm back in that part of the world where I'm my own master.

2005-09-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

And I'll always make sure that there's enough time to spend with you. You obviously don't need my words on a blog to know how much I love you, but I'm selfish. It makes me feel good to say it and so I will, again and again and again. I love you, Ravi Chit.

... I was asked to pray today.

2005-08-18T12:51:00.001-07:00

I've never really been a religious person. You know that. I was indifferent to the concept of god. However, ever since you've gone, I am sure that there is no god. Or if there's one, there's really no apparent use of him in my life. So basically to me, he doesn't exist. I don't need to pray to the same being to give me strength who has caused me the pain in the first place. But today I realized that you are him for me. What most people need god for, I need you for the same reasons. When I'm afraid, I think of you. When I'm sad, I think of you. When I'm happy, I especially think of you. You are my god. But you have your own identity. So I'm not going to use a term that the entire world uses. To me, Ravi Chit stands for that and even more.

... I was asked to pray today.

2005-08-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

... I told mummy about this blog.

2005-08-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Somehow I didn't feel like telling anybody about this blog, as in those who know you. I don't know why. Probably because I thought they'd think it's cheesy or corny or just plain stupid. Or maybe because I wanted it to be our little secret. I'm not sure. Anyway, mummy was asking me why I need the ADSL connection so badly. And I said because I need to go online everyday. And then she asked why. And so I was mad and told her that I needed to talk to you everyday! She obviously wanted to see this blog then, and I obviously said no. Maybe some day when I feel like I want to share you, I would. But today I'm feeling as selfish as ever, and I want to keep you all to myself. So here's to our secret. Just like old times :) I love you.

... you should know that I'm fighting against the most formidable opponent in the world just to keep in touch with you.

2005-08-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

Dial-up!!!

... I'm flying home today.

2005-08-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

Guess that brings me a little more closer to you??? Don't miss me for the 2-3 days that may not be able to keep you updated okay? I love you :)

... I could use your ultra-organization skills right now.

2005-08-05T01:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going to stop apologizing for the days I don't update. Because it is not my laziness that's the cause. I can procrastinate in every matter in my life, but not when it comes to you. Nothing can come in between us, not even my laziness. So, I'm only genuinely busy when I don't update. Though I did post about you in the other blog, so you were remembered obviously :)

Remember the day we had the conversation about what it is I like most about you? And I said everything that you didn't expect. And then you mentioned things about you that I didn't expect. One of them was your ability to be so organized. Today I could really learn to put a little of that skill to use. It's the packing blues!!! And I'm going crazy as usual. Nothing new. Same old, same old. I'm probably going to be packing till the last hour, when I'll finally decide that my passport, ticket, cash and myself is all I should really remember to take. I prepared a "list" (can you believe it????) like you always do, but uhm.. I lost it, like you never do. So much to learn from you. So much. Guess I'll wait till we meet up again.

... I love you, Ravi Chit.

2005-08-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

I just fucking love you.

... it's exam time and I'm going crazy.

2005-08-02T22:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry yet again.

... I was brushing my teeth.

2005-07-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

I remember how you make Anosh and Aarish stand in front of the sink for 5 minutes. And you actually time them with a watch. They keep asking you if it's up and personally, I think you make them stand there for 10!!! But it's such a cute scene. If they keep it up like good boys, they could model for Close-up or Colgate. Though you have other plans for them :)

... I made sure to get the message across to not throw away your stuff.

2005-07-30T16:58:00.000-07:00

Dips is planning to keep your art work with her, and I'm going to keep your flute :)

... I sure hope your art work has not gone down the drain.

2005-07-29T22:53:00.000-07:00

And your flute!!!!!!! Please protect those. I need them.

... I'm really worried about Mathaiamma and Mathaiappa.

2005-07-28T17:38:00.000-07:00

Please look out for them, Ravi Chit. It's been raining like crazy in Bombay and no one could even contact them for a few days because the phone lines had conked off. Our Ghatkopar flat is completely flooded and it seems lots of stuff has been thrown out of the house too :( The water was knee-deep and luckily Mathaiamma and Mathaiappa got out of there in time because it happened in the afternoon. Please take care of them, and make sure they aren't inconvenienced too much. Let them know that you're still looking after them.

... I saw the movie "Waqt".

2005-07-27T22:02:00.000-07:00

It made me cry, for obvious reasons.

... I now need Cold War bullshit.

2005-07-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

And 12 pages of it. Pronto!!! :o

... my foot's been itching like crazy.

2005-07-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

There is this really funny thing you say about itching. Damn. I can't remember the exact words but it was some hilarious analogy that started with "An itch left unscratched is like a ..." Shucks. I will definitely rack my brains till I get it!!!

... you would NOT believe the shit that's being dished out under the pretense of being a movie!!!

2005-07-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

Remember how we'd said there'd never be another Sholay? Well, there never will be!

... I need to discuss me.

2005-07-23T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not who I was anymore. In some ways, I don't know who I am. And talking to you would really help.

... I'm lonely :(

2005-07-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

... I was reading "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" again!

2005-07-21T17:47:00.000-07:00

This might sound silly, but could you somehow try to become friends with Douglas Adams? So that when I join you, you can introduce me to him! I'd really like that :D Not that for even one second I think that he's funnier than you, because he's not. No one is. I feel bad for people who think Jim Carrey or Russell Peters or Chris Rock is hilarious, because they never got to meet you.

... there's this new show premiering on T.V. tonight.

2005-07-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

"So you think you can dance"! I'd love to see you dance.

... I want you to know that forgetting to update this blog is going to become a regular feature.

2005-07-19T00:32:00.000-07:00

For whatsoever reasons; they're usually valid though. Cross my heart and hope to die.

... you probably know more about conservatism and liberalism than I do!!!

2005-07-17T23:51:00.000-07:00

Ugh.

... I saw this really great movie

2005-07-16T20:41:00.000-07:00

that I'd love to have discussed with you. The scenes, the acting, the morality of the story - everything! It would have made a great topic for one of our late night talk sessions.

... I want to talk to you.

2005-07-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

I want to hear your voice so bad.

... I happened to read about Jim Carrey.

2005-07-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

His interview was in this old People's magazine I'd borrowed from the Spanish lady down the floor in my apartment building for a sociology project I was working on. Anyway, the point is that it was about Carrey's role in "Bruce Almighty". To me, the phrase "And that's the way the cookie crumbles" was made famous by YOU and not by CARREY!

... I have sex-related questions.

2005-07-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

And I don't know whom to ask.

... I pulled an all-nighter.

2005-07-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

I have forgotten how to stay awake all night! Caffeine, I have grown immune to. HELP!

... I watched 'Road to Perdition' today.

2005-07-11T00:24:00.000-07:00

It was an awesome movie. As always, Tom Hanks never fails. The title reminded me of this movie 'Purgatory' we saw together. That was the first and only cowboy movie I've watched, I think. And I loved it! It was so cool, what with all the gun fights and horse chases and everything! Movie watching is just not the same anymore without you. I miss you, Ravi Chit.

... I deserve to be kicked!

2005-07-10T02:15:00.000-07:00

I'm slacking, as usual. I thought the one thing I would do right would be this blog, and I forgot to update yesterday :( Kick me!

... my friend brought up Madonna.

2005-07-08T03:16:00.000-07:00

In conversation, I mean! ;) I remember you really liked "Music".

... I actually "missed" you!!!

2005-07-07T04:19:00.000-07:00

My sociology project had me so engrossed, I forgot to update yesterday :( In fact, I'm still working on it. I'm sure you'd forgive me if you saw my bloodshot eyes...

... I have a political science paper to write.

2005-07-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

Your bullshitting skills would really come in handy right now !!!

... I have a fever.

2005-07-04T20:19:00.000-07:00

I need "I'm sick" movie recommendations.

... Seems got married today.

2005-07-03T23:50:00.000-07:00

... I'm drinking this vile concoction I prepared.

2005-07-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

It's a mixture of grape, mango and orange juice. It tastes quite nasty. I don't really know why I'm drinking it. I'm sure you'd like how it tastes though. After all, you drank beer.

... I've just gone through 15 mins of "Kya Kool Hai Hum"!

2005-07-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

And I am so missing your comments. Gosh, this movie is painful - the kind I can only get through if you're sitting next to me.

... everybody's going to bombay.

2005-06-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I really feel about it.

... I was thinking about how my love life sucks!

2005-06-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

I hope to find love the way you did :) Though I don't know if I want to be dating 7 years!!! But you had to make sure, right? Especially with so many girls swooning over you, you had to take your time :p

... I want you to know I'm sorry that I cry.

2005-06-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Please don't feel hurt when you see me cry. I'm just stupid that way. I know you've seen enough tears, not just mine but everybody you've left behind who loves you. But I promise you're going to see less of mine. And that doesn't mean I don't love you enough :) I will just show the way I love you in other ways; ways which will put a smile on your face too. That's the reason I started this blog. I hope it puts a smile on your face everyday, because it sure does on mine :) I love you, Ravi chit.

... I don't need a reason.

2005-06-27T20:47:00.000-07:00

But I cried a lot :( Why did you leave, Ravi Chit?

... I want to tell you about my crazy friend.

2005-06-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

You know Ankit, don't you? Well, he read my previous post and said something really sweet but also really stupid. I know you are taking care of me every step of the way but if it's not asking too much, please take care of him every step of the way too. He's one of the few people who has loved me unconditionally. He's far away from me, and I haven't kept in touch with him very well. But if I know you're looking after him, I'll feel much better.

... I love you, Ravi Chit.

2005-06-25T22:27:00.000-07:00

Life is just so fucking unfair. Someone commented that I shouldn't be too hasty about making wishes. Little do they know that every single day I wish it was me instead of you.

... I have boy trouble.

2005-06-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

I need major advice in this matter. Who do I go to now?

... I need you in my life.

2005-06-23T23:06:00.000-07:00

I just do.

... I don't have anyone to discuss Weird Al Yankovich songs with.

2005-06-22T21:09:00.000-07:00

Only your songs have made me laugh as much!!!

... Dips told me Rashna aunty cried to her.

2005-06-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

I can only imagine what she must be going through, because if Dips and I miss you this much, she must miss you a hell lot more. But don't worry, we'll look after her for you.

... I missed my bestest friend.

2005-06-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

What makes you such a great friend is that you're young enough at heart so I can share with you all my dirty secrets and you're old enough in mind to give me the right advice after listening to them. You're the kind of friend every teenager wants to have but only I was fortunate enough to have. No one can ever replace you.

... I heard 'Smoke on the water' by Deep Purple.

2005-06-19T18:42:00.000-07:00

If I remember right, this is the tune you used to 'ta ta ta... ta ta ta na' all the time. Your kind of music. So cool. Just like you.

... I just did.

2005-06-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

... I watched a really funny flash animation.

2005-06-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

I don't think anybody else would find it remotely funny. But I know you will. And we'd be watching it and laughing our asses off. Because there are some things only both of us really 'get'.

... I messed up my exam.

2005-06-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

And you're not here to tell me that it's okay. And that even if I tried my best, I could never do worse than you did :)

I love you.

... I saw this photograph.

2005-06-15T20:25:00.000-07:00